Tuesday, July 25, 2017

Happiness and Grief

There is a fine line between happiness and grief. 

I've written in the past about the passing of my dad. About how hard it has been and how one day I wanted to get to the point where when I thought of him I would smile and not cry. 

I'm getting there. 

I know it sounds crazy but I believe in the little reminders that come to visit you. Such as a certain smell or a song that is played on the radio. One day last week I was driving home from work and an 18-wheeler pulled up next to me on the freeway. It had my dads name in big letter on the side and then again on the back. It stayed right next to me or just a bit ahead of me for most of the way. My dad's name is not a common name at all so I took that as one of those signs. It was as if he was saying hi and it made me smile.

I didn't think about till I got home, but no tears came. Only that snugly feeling like being wrapped in a blanket full of happy memories.   

I've come to know that with grief you miss that person all the time. You tend to miss them even more when you realize you will not talk to them, hold them, or be in their presence again. With happiness you recall all of the memories you have and that makes you smile and reminds you of the love you had for that person.

In the words of Winnie the Pooh, "How lucky am I to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard."  I hope I continue to think of the happiness and smile. 

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