Thursday, February 25, 2016

I Love That You Still Love Me

Hubs and I have been married for eighteen years. 

I was a single mid twenty something year old doing my thing when a co-worker came up and said what do you think about him. I distinctly remember saying I don't, but only because I was quite comfortable with the place I was in during that stage of my life. Little did I know she had asked him what he thought about me. Over time I finally agreed to go out with him. 

Lunch was our first date, if you want to call it that because I paid for my own meal. But after that lunch date we were inseparable. We've been together ever since and I am so very thankful. 

We've seen a lot of things in our years together. We've experienced friends getting married, us and them buying homes, all of us having babies and watching them grow up. We've watched friends get divorced and loved ones pass away. We have also been through a few hurricanes, yes as in severe weather events, which is something I wish to never do again. We've enjoyed great days and some not so good ones. We have been down the road of life together. 

I can say this, and I know Hubs will agree, he's saint! He's put up with more from me than any man should have to or want to. He knows how I am and he just gets me. And I love him all the more for it. 

But through it all, the good, the bad, and the very ugly the one thing that has stayed constant is our love for each other. It's not the same as it was twenty something years ago. It's grown into something beautiful. 

I love that after all these years he still thinks I'm beautiful and tells me often. I love that we enjoy hanging out and spending time together. I love that we still find stuff to talk about. But most of all I love that he still loves me. 

Tuesday, February 23, 2016

Happy Birthday Daddy

Happy Birthday Daddy!

I miss you more and more each day but I know you are having the best birthday celebration in heaven with your parents and sister. I love you!

Friday, February 5, 2016

Grief Changes Shape But It Never Ends

So Wednesday was kind of a rough day for me. It stared off alright but as the day progressed so did the heavy feeling of missing my dad. By the time work was over and I got home I was in tears. 

All I wanted to do was curl up in my bed an go to sleep. Instead I thought it might help looking a pictures so I dug out some photos and quickly realized this was not a smart move. The pain of missing my dad, my aunt, and grandparents was just to much. It brought me to the deep place within my heart where it becomes unbearable. I just sat right down on the bed and cried. 

After a while I put the pictures away, wiped my faced, and pulled it together before my family got home. I managed to get dinner ready, make lunches for the next day, and even do some laundry. But by the time Hubs and I sat down to eat I just couldn't take it, I broke down again. I told him I hated feeling this way. I let him know I hate how this grief stuff sucks me in and grabs hold. We talked for a while and then he did the sweetest thing for me. He told me to just go get in bed and he would take of all of the evening stuff around the house. Honestly it made me love him even more than I already do. 

I can say sleep is a beautiful thing. It always seems to help. The griping pain of grief has subsided enough and I'm feeling a bit more OK. I know this is just part of the process. There is no time frame for when this will be over, as it will never be over. Grief becomes part of you, a part of who you are. It changes you.

Wednesday, February 3, 2016

Baseball Makes Me Happy

It's high school baseball season!  And not that I'm counting or anything but it's also 61 days till MLB opening day. Y'all know how happy this makes me? I can't even explain it. 

I've got something else to be even more excited about. This kid made the high school JV baseball team.  

Back in August of 2015 we talked with him about putting in the work and improving on all of his skills. I am proud to say he put in that extra work, 3-4 times a week. He has a phenomenal catching coach who has worked with him and helped him get more comfortable behind the plate while honing his craft. It's been awesome to see the transformation.

R1, I can't wait to watch you play this year.  It's going to be amazing!