Monday, January 22, 2018

He's 13

This boy turned 13 yesterday. I can not believe that 13 years have flown by so fast. It still feels like Hubs and I were bringing him home from the hospital the other day. 

He is so smart and funny. He loves God. He's not afraid to try new things or step out of his comfort zone. 

I am so proud of the young man he is turning into. 

Happy 13th birthday R2, I love you!

Friday, January 19, 2018

Snowmageddon 2018

In the past month it has snowed here in Southeast Texas three times. Yes you read that correctly, three times.  

It would be safe to say at this point Mother Nature is bi-polar and has clearly been off of her medication for quite some time. 

Saturday the local weathermen started prepping us for the imminent cold weather with don't forget to bring in your pets, cover your pipes and plants, mind you it 70 degrees at the time. But by Monday evening schools were announcing closures because the icepocalyspe was upon us. 

It did not get above freezing on Tuesday and it snowed here for hours. We only received about an inch or two but it was so pretty coming down. I will admit I was mesmerized as I stood by the window and watch the huge snowflakes fall to the ground.

 There is just something about snowflakes that I love.

Tuesday, January 16, 2018

The Storm

"And once the storm is over you won't remember how you made it through, how you managed to survive. you won't even be sure, in fact, whether the storm is really over. But one thing is certain. when you come out of the storm you won't be the same person who walked in."

Many of my friends are just now getting back into their homes after Hurricane Harvey. Their homes are not completely ready but months of living either in a travel trailer or elsewhere has made them desperate to be back in their home so once it's in livable condition they are moving in.

I know this feeling all to well.

However it's what happens when they get back in their home that they are now experiencing that I have been going through since the first part of December and probably earlier if I am being honest. 

Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, PTSD. It's real people and don't let anyone tell you it's not.

Mine does not have me so debilitated that I can not function but it's there and usually comes in full force in the middle of the night and wakes me up out of a dead sleep.

Mine shows up two ways. One is I wake up in the middle of the night heart racing and feeling as if I am trying to out run the flood waters as they enter my old house, only I can't. The other is the feeling of I am floating at the top of my ceiling and I am watching the flood waters enter my home. I am watching as the water gets higher and higher. I see the current moving all of our furniture around.

My friends are all having similar dreams or feelings. We all know what it is and we all know it will take time and we are leaning on each other. We want things back to the way they were, the old normal.

So even though the storm is over, I nor they are the same person who walked in. 

Tuesday, January 2, 2018

Happy New Year - 2018

Happy New Year!

As I sit here reflect back on 2017 I am overwhelmed by the thoughts that just keep coming. It's almost like the waves crashing on the shoreline, one right after the other.

2017 was an emotional year to say the least. Losing our house and everything we owned was extremely difficult but through it all I always chose to stay positive. Sure there were bad days where I would sit in my own personal pity party because of my circumstances but I always pulled myself out and put an end to that. I had a family that needed me to focus on them and not my situation.

I always knew that God was in control and he was going to take care of me and my family. I just had a sense of peace. It's hard to describe. It was a faith I knew I had but never realized how deep it went. I just knew that we would come out of this and some how, some way, my family would survive and move on.

And we have moved on. We celebrated Christmas in our new home and New Year's Eve with new neighbors. 

But I have not forgotten what brought us here. I am definitely not the same person I was before the flood. Hurricane Harvey changed me. He left his mark deeply embedded on my life. 

Hurricane Harvey taught me a few things. I can do anything for a short amount of time. I am stronger than I give myself credit for. There are some wonderful people in the world who will come and help complete strangers because there was a need. I learned even though I said it was trash, it still was painful to toss it to the curb, but I also survived it all being thrown away. I have some pretty amazing friends. As long as my family is safe and they are with me, everything would be alright. I learned that everything is going to be OK, maybe not that day or the next or even 102 days later but in time it will be.