Thursday, May 26, 2016

This Kid Right Here!

I am so proud of this kid right here! R2 had awards day at his school yesterday and he received six. He received Student Council, Outstanding Science Student, Jurassic World Tour Guide, A/B Honor Roll Last 9 weeks, Famous Americans Participant, and the best award of all...Accelerated Reader Award. 

That's right folks, this kid who has dyslexia received the Accelerated Reader Award. What a testament to his hard work and his great teachers. His daddy and I could not be more proud of him. 

Way to go R2! You rocked 5th grade like the star that you are!

Wednesday, May 11, 2016

When You've Broken Up With Your Mother And It's Mother's Day

I love being a mother. It's one of the greatest things I've done in my life. Sure there are plenty of days where I feel like I have failed at my motherhood gig but it's the other days that out weigh that feeling and give me such a sense of pride. 

Isn't that what Mother's Day is about? When you look at your children and revel in their accomplishments. You feel that your heart is about to explode because you are just filled with so much love for them. And what about that moment when you realize you've helped them achieve something so great. It's those moments in life and your breath hitches and you just smile a grin that reaches from ear to ear. Yes, that's what it's all about, for me anyway.

But what do you do when you and your mother are no longer together, broken up and Mother’s Day no longer means the same thing for you as an adult as it did when you were a kid.

I read an article the other day about a woman who said her mother was more of an acquaintance to her since she made the decision to no longer have a substantial relationship with her.  I had a similar relationship with my mother only I chose to end the relationship with her completely. I haven’t spoken to or seen her in over 14 years.

My parents divorced when I was 18 years old and my brother was 14 years old. When I was younger my mom was great. She did all the wonderful things that parents do, go on field trips, put little note cards in my lunch, volunteer at school. But something changed in her after she and my dad divorced. I have always referred to it as the time my mom went off the deep end. She became a bitter woman. She was spiteful, hateful, angry, controlling, and down right vindictive.

She left my brother and I shortly before I turned 19. I came home from college one day and she was packing. She informed that she was moving with her boyfriend to Louisiana and my brother and I were not going with her.  I ended up taking care of my brother who was by now 15 for a few months until I was no longer able to do so.

It was a few years after my mother moved that I was able to finally reach out to her. I was quickly reminded that she was no longer the mother that I remembered from my childhood.  My grandmother had always wanted us to try repair our relationship and because I loved my grandmother dearly, I tried. It was extremely difficult and my husband saw what a toll it took on me each time I spoke with her.

Several years later my grandmother passed away and mother called my house and left me a message on the answering machine. A very brief and very cold message.  It was at the point I made a conscious decision to cut all ties with this woman I no longer knew. Oh trust me I agonized over my choice for months before I finally broken down and wrote a letter to her. Somewhere along the way when I became a mother myself I realized this was not a healthy relationship for me or my family. I did not want my son to be exposed to her actions. But once I finally made the decision to “break up” with her I never looked back.

I wrote her one last letter letting her know of my decision and what had lead me to make that choice. As soon as I placed that letter in mail box I felt as if a 4,000 pound weight had been lifted off of me. About a week later I received a reply from her. I read it and then threw it away. Her words no longer hurt me they way that had in past. I had been freed.

But for some reason once a year as Mother’s Day approaches my mind wanders back to my childhood and the mother I had then. I’m not sad of over my choice and don’t regret it, I made peace with it years ago. 

But as I reflect back I can’t help but look forward too. And I am reminded of the mother I want to be. A mother who is kind and gracious. A mother who is there for the good times and the bad. A mother who will lift up her children when needed. A mother who is supportive and offers guidance. A mother who’s children knows that she had their back. A mother who is her children's biggest fan. A mother who wraps them in the tightest hug if only for second and tells them everyday how much they are loved. A mother who snuggles most every time her children ask. But most of all a mother who loves unconditionally and without end.

Thursday, April 28, 2016

I'm Sad It's Over

Highschool baseball season ended for R1 Tuesday night and we ended it with a win. We played 25 games in two months and we traveled over 1600 miles. 

Thank you for the memories this season R1, I love to watch you play!

Monday, April 11, 2016

The 'Stros Are Back

Way to start of the home series boys! It's going to be a great season!

Tuesday, March 22, 2016

12 Days, 15 Hours, 27 Minutes, and 32 Seconds

Till one of my favorite days of the year, opening day for Major League Baseball.

All I can say is...

Let's go 'Stros! It's gonna be a great season!


Tuesday, March 15, 2016

It's Just Not The Same

It was my birthday a few days ago. Yep, I still have those, age usually does not bother me. This year I did pause for a brief moment and think to myself, dang! you are getting old. 

I received all the normal calls and text messages from family and friends but one was missing, my dad.

He always called me the day before and the day after my birthday and would sing to me, Happy Un-Birthday to you. And on the actual day he would call and sing Happy Birthday full blown with gusto in such a loud voice it made my ears hurt. I missed that this year. I have him singing to me on a voice mail but I could not bring myself to listen. The emptiness of him not being here weighed heavy on me and I just really wanted a semi happy day. 

I miss that man more than I ever thought possible. I keep telling myself time will lessen the hurt. But for this, time is moving so slowly. 

I am looking forward to the day when I am finally able to listen to that sweet sweet voice mail from my daddy and smile. 





Friday, March 4, 2016

STAAR - It's not what you think

Oh sure the by the TEA's definition (Texas Education Association) the meaning of STAAR is State of Texas Assessments of Academic Readiness. 

But my description it means STAAR is a STUPID, TERRIBLE AND AGGRAVATING REQUIRED test. I like my description better. And that's the clean version. 

Every year teachers and students here in Texas stress themselves out to see if the children they have been working with all year will fit into this mold the state says they must in order to achieve what they define as academic readiness. To me it's a bunch of BULLCRAP!

There is so much wrong with this test, but here are just a few points.

* Not all children learn the same. Even a child learns who does not have a learning disability does not process things in their brain the same way the child sitting right next to them does. 
Everyone is different, God made sure of that.

* Not all children think within the same box. Learning disability or not. Because 6+1=7 but you know what so does 3+4. It really doesn't matter how you get to the right answer as long as you get.

* Children with learning disabilities struggle to fit into the mold the state says they must fit into. Does this mean a child can not learn the same information that a child without a learning disability can, NO! A child with a learning disability can be extremely smart, their brain processes things in another way. 

Yes, lets repeat that last part, THEY LEARN DIFFERENTLY! No where in that statement does it say they stupid or dumb. What is says is that because they have a learning disability they think differently. It might take them a little longer but that's OK, they will get it.

So, here's the deal, should my child with dyslexia be exempt from this test, no he needs to learn the required grade material just like every other child in his grade. But what I am saying is this. He is an intelligent child. The way his brain works and how he just gets certain parts of things he is learning is awesome to witness. But why should he or any other child be made to fit into a box. Aren't we always telling our children think outside of the box? Be different, be yourself? Be a leader not a follower? 

I would love for the bureaucratic pencil pushing (which his kindergarten teacher probably taught him to hold properly) person sitting behind their desk who designed this test actually go sit in an elementary school classroom and take this test. I bet they would fail and fail horribly. I bet they wouldn't even have a clue about the material on the test. 

And I'll just leave it at that. Oh it's also a SENSELESS, TAXING AND ANNOYING REQUIREMENT!