Saturday, September 20, 2008

A new journey

Oh sweet friends, I have begun a new chapter of my life.


A new journey.There is a new normal for me.


My world has been completely shaken and rocked to the very core. I don’t even know where to begin.


The past three days have been almost unbearable.


My home was invaded by something that I had absolutely no control over. Hurricane Ike took something from me that was not his for the taking.


My home. My comfort zone. My place to be completely myself.


We came home after evacuating to find that Ike had redecorated and I didn’t like his taste. As a matter of fact I hated it.


















Now I have a sky light in my living room and my bedroom a nice new ceiling feature above my bed. Guess Ike thought Hubs and I needed something else besides pillow talk to talk about.


We have spent the past three days pulling up carpet all over the house. Taking furniture and other personal items that were ruined by water out to our garage.


The inside of my house looks like as if someone took my house off of the foundation and shook it like a water globe.


The outside is another story.


We pulled trees from my house. Two huge trees to be exact. Used chain saws to cut the trees into small pieces to haul to the end of my property. I have picked up more sticks and debris than I ever care to do again. I have raked more leaves than I have trees.


The yard has been cleaned and mowed. And aside from the only tree we lost, which by the way was an oak tree that was over 100 years old and now lays down on it’s side as only a stump with the root system pulled up which makes it look like it has a blanket of grass, my yard looks great.


I also went to work today for the first time today.


My office had the ceiling collapse right on top of my desk. My desk now has mold growing on it and has ruined everything but my computer. Go figure.


So not only is my personal life a mess but so is my professional life.


I can handle just about anything but usually when one area of my life is in chaos the other is running smoothly.


Right now neither area has order and it has me completely off kilter.


I can’t seem to keep a coherent thought and I can’t think of anything beyond the moment I am in.


I am the type of person who needs some order and everything that has a place to be in it’s place. I know…border line OCD.


But right now, I am a mess.


And I don’t know how to fix it either.


I really miss blogging and I don’t have the internet access that I used. I can’t just go get on the computer and check email. I can’t read my blogs that have me laughing so loud my oldest comes running to make sure I am OK.


I miss my life the way it was. The normal I used to have.


I WANT IT BACK, ALL OF IT! THE GOOD, THE BAD, AND THE GREAT!


I want to go home and plop my butt down on the couch and watch a movie with my family. I want to give my kids a bath in their bath room and tuck them into bed. I want same old every day routine back.


I want to go to work and the kids to school. I want to cook dinner in my kitchen. I want scrub the toilets and mop the floors. Well OK not scrub the toilets and mop the floors.


But I want all of it back, and I want it now.


I also know that I can’t have it back. I know one day it will be back to what I call normal, but the getting there is driving me crazy.


I know God has a plan for all of this. I know he brought me to this point only to bring me out of it.


Stronger and more in love with Him than before.


He is building character in me. He is working with in me as I sit and type all of this.

He is giving me peace. He is giving me strength when I think I have none.


God is walking right beside me, with his arm around my shoulder and guiding me on a new path.

God knew all of this would happen to me and to my family from the beginning. He knew where and when.


Just like he knows the number of hairs on my head. He knows my thoughts before I even think them.


Once again God has brought me to something dark only to show me the light. To show me there will be something better on the other side. Something only he could provide.


On the other side of this I will be stronger. I will be a little braver. I will have more faith than when this journey started. I will love God more than I ever knew was possible. Because with him all things are possible.


And once everything is complete I will practically have a new house.


I will have new carpeting and a new roof. I will have a freshly painted house inside and out. I will have new ceilings and new walls.


I will have more precious memories to make with my family in this house.


Once again it will become my comfort zone. My place to just be.

3 comments:

Beachy Mimi said...

You have been through and are going through so much. I know that God has you in the palm of His hand and all this will pass. I certainly can't even begin to understand the "why" of certain things. I HAVE learned that whatever comes after is ALWAYS better...if different. It sound like you realize that already. Be safe and know that I am still praying. Thanks for the updates.

Soliloquy said...

I hope this was cathartic to write. Sometimes it's just so good to get it out there.

I'm sorry that your world is upside down right now. I am continuing to pray for you.

THE ROOST said...

What a beautiful & painful & honest account of what you have been through! You have made me thankful for many things I take for granted!