We Are Now A Party of Five

 Our oldest got married two weeks ago and it was the most beautiful day. 

The weeks leading up to the wedding were filled with a flurry of plans, dress shopping, wedding showers, and everything else that comes with a wedding.

I know most of the excitement of that day is centered on the bride, as it should be. But I couldn’t help but think that this is about the groom too.

There is a fleeting moment, as a mother, when all the years you have spent pouring into your son come flooding back. It happens quickly and without warning.

I don’t remember everything we said to each other that day, but I do know I said, “I love you, and I’m proud of you,” at least a thousand times. I remember what it felt like to hold him, the weight of him in my arms, and realizing he wasn’t fully mine in the same way anymore.

I wasn’t sad—well, maybe a little—but I was mostly proud. Proud of the man he had become. I was grateful for the woman he chose and for how completely she loved him. It was a joy-filled day.

But I was quietly grieving something different. I was grieving that something had changed forever.

As I looked at my son several times throughout the day, I kept seeing the curly-haired little boy who would sit in my lap on the couch, snuggled under the covers, watching Blue’s Clues. I thought of the baseball games, the stinky, dirty uniforms I washed over the years, the school projects I helped him with, and the family vacations we took. I remembered the moments when I was simply able to be with him and talk with him—the random conversations that somehow turned into meaningful ones.

The little boy his daddy and I raised was now a man stepping into his future.

And isn’t that exactly how it’s meant to be? Isn’t that the goal? We raise them so they can leave, so they can stand on their own—to find love and a partner who will walk beside them in this life.

But no one prepares you for how deeply your love for that little boy changes you and shapes you, or how fiercely you feel the shift when it’s time to let go—to hand them off.

All the years of praying and saying, “Be careful, don’t speed,” of knowing when he just needed me to listen or when he needed advice—they all led here. There is a time in between when you still hold them, but you are also releasing them to someone else. And something beautiful happens when you realize you haven’t lost him—you have simply had a front-row seat to watch it all unfold. And what an amazing seat it has been.

And now that seat allows you to watch the beginning of a new season. That boy who once needed you for everything is now a man who carries with him everything you taught and shared with him.

Motherhood changes. Instead of being front and center, cheering the loudest, I now cheer from a quieter place—still strong, steady, and providing a soft landing, but perhaps from the second row instead of the first.

As his bride made her way to the front of the altar to meet him, I took an extra moment to look at him and soak it all in. And in that moment, he was not a groom, but simply my son.

It was worth every moment, every memory, every tear, every smile. Every late night of worry and repeated prayers over his entire life. He was the little boy who stole my heart. 

I wouldn't trade any of it for anything.  

The House That Built Me

When I was in 8 years old my parents purchased a brand new home. Three bedrooms, two and a half baths, two car garage, and a large backyard. This would be the home that I grew up in.

The neighborhood had a park, basketball court and two swimming pools. I remember my brother and I would spend all day at the pools during the summer. Sometimes we would go to park, which was only a few blocks from our house. And whenever we heard my dad whistle for us we knew we needed to get home fast. 

The neighborhood was full of kids. And because of this we would spend most of our time outside. We rode our bikes every where. Sometimes we would ride up to the 7-Eleven corner store and get a drink and some candy. If our parents needed us, they would drive around looking for us at the park, basketball court, or pool. And when they couldn't find us, they kept driving around to see which house had all of the bikes in the yard because that is where we would be.

Some weekends we would have block parties where everyone brought something to eat and the adults would just hang out and talk and us kids would run up and down the street playing and going from one friends house to the next. 

Another thing the kids would do is walk to the local roller rink on Saturday morning at 11am and skate all afternoon. At 4pm when the rink closed our parents would come pick us up. Sometimes we would be right back up there at 6pm and skate till midnight. 

As I got older I would babysit for a family that lived down the street. I'm still close to this family today. Their three girls are like younger siblings to me. 

I can say growing up in the 80's was absolutely glorious! 

Recently one of the girls drove to our old neighborhood. She had her kids in the car and was showing them where she grew up. She snapped a picture of my old house and sent it to me. 

The aesthetics have changed but the bones of the house have not. I can still picture in my mind the floor plan and where everything was. 

The window on the left over the garage was my bedroom and the other window was my brothers room. The window on the left that is set back a little bit, and is open half way, was my parents bathroom. I can picture my dad standing at the sink and shaving. Right under that window was our front door with the sidelight window that was in front of the staircase. Our dog used to lay on the third step because the sun would shine in on that step and make it warm. There was a courtyard just before the front door that my parents worked so hard in. It was really beautiful with all the rose bushes and gardenia bushes and the outdoor furniture they would sit in to unwind from the day. 

The picture on the left is about a year after my parents purchased the house in 1977 and the picture on the right is how it currently looks today.

Gone are my parents cars tucked into the garage. My dads was a blue Corvair and my mothers was a brown Toyota Corolla. Gone is the plank of wood my dad had routed our street address into and hung over the top left of the garage doors. Gone are the stuco walls that have been replaced with fences and gates. Gone is the light brown paint and dark brown trim now replaced with cream paint and brownish/reddish trim. 

While we no longer live there the memories live on in my mind and will last a lifetime.  

This was the house that built me.  

Listening to God

One year ago, today I left my place of employment after fifteen years of service. After all those years I honestly thought I would retire from there. 

It wasn’t an easy decision but one I had been praying for in earnest for almost two years. I was asking God to move or to move me. As a result of listening to Him, I took that leap of faith and stepped out on the ocean and God caught my hand among the waves and he never let me sink. 

I left the most hostile and toxic work environment I had ever been in. Don’t get me wrong, the university I worked for was fine, but my department became too much to bear any longer. 

But God had an amazing opportunity waiting for me. One I never could have imagined. One where I am supported and encouraged. One where my experience and knowledge are valued and appreciated. One where my co-workers have become friends. 

So many wonderful things have happened in my life over the past year, and it is not lost on me they were all orchestrated by God. I gave Him full control and listened to him as he gently whispered over me what to do. 

As I’ve said before, God’s timing is perfect. I am thankful for his provisions and his blessings upon me and my family. 

I’m praying the next year is just incredible as the last one has been.

Happy 20th Birthday, Riley (We Survived the Teenage Years)

Happy 20th Birthday, Riley! We are officially out of the teenage years and we all survived. You have brought so much laughter to your lives. You are funny, smart, and work hard at everything you do. Your dad and I have loved having a front row seat to your life. You have been one of our greatest adventures. We hope year 20 is amazing!

 

Hello 2025

It's been a while since I've been on here. And the new year has me wanting to put down a few thoughts from the past one. 

2024 was definitely a year. If I could sum it in a song, or more specifically a lyric it would be CeCe Winans, The Goodness of God and the lyric is, And I have lived in the goodness of God. 

This was my song of the year. The entire song is simply amazing and CeCe's voice is just so beautiful

So much happened this past year that only God could have orchestrated all and none of it was lost on me. 

In March 2023 I began to pray for God to open doors for new job opportunities at the university where I had worked for 15 years. I had spent the last four years in a toxic and hostile work environment and it was clear it was time. Don't get me wrong, the university as a whole was wonderful and my family has a deep history there but my department was an different story. 

I prayed for God to move or move me. And move me he did. He closed every door at the university and opened one at another higher education institution in an entirely different state. So in March 2024, I listened to God and took that leap of faith and accepted that new position. 

I excitedly went into the new position ready to learn whatever I could. After 30 days it was clear to me that I did not want to be separated from my husband for almost a year before he retired. Nor did I want to be away from the rest of my family and friends. Again, I began praying earnestly for God to once again move or move me. 

As God does, he moved. A job came across a listserv that I was on and I thought, I can do that, so I applied. The next week I received an email for an interview later in that same week and the week after that I was offered the job. 

Let me say, this new position was at another university and those of us in higher education know it takes months for things to happen. When I started at the first university, it took 3 months to apply, interview, and eventually higher me. At the university out of state, it took almost 6 months for that process. So for all of this to happen in 3 weeks was one hundred percent God working. 

There were so many moving parts that needed to work out and fall into place that it could have only been done by God and I am honored that he allowed me to see all of this happening in real time and not retrospectively.

I now have an amazing job with a boss and co-workers who are supportive and encouraging. We have dubbed ourselves The Dream Tream and it truly is. It's also in Texas, which is where I truly want to be.

There were a lot of other things in the details that I had been praying for which God allowed and for that, I am truly grateful for. 

As CeCe sings, 

For your mercy never fails me. All my days, I've been held in Your hands. You have led me through the fire. In darkest night, You are close like no other. And I have lived in the goodness of God. Your goodness is running after, it's running after me. With my life laid down, I surrendered now, I give You everything, oh Lord. All my life You have been faithful. All my life You have been so, so good. So good with every breath that I am able, I will sing, I'm gonna sing, of the goodness of God. 

 

 

I Was Lucky To Have 24 Summers

They say we get 18 summers with our children before they leave for college. I was lucky enough to have 24. 

Our oldest, Reece attended the university where I worked so he lived at home during his college career. But sometimes it was almost like he was gone and off at college somewhere because he was gone so much of the time.

He was with the baseball program at college for six years. Four as an undergraduate and then two more as a graduate. Thus why he was gone a lot of the time. A college athletic program is nothing like high school. Early morning work, classes, workouts during the day, and then either practice or games in the evening. The grind of baseball was long but he enjoyed every minute of it. 

I also cherished knowing where he was the majority of the time and also knew he'd be home to sleep in his own bed.

Reece graduated with his masters degree in March and his final season with the baseball program ended a few weeks ago. And thus began a new chapter in all of our lives. 

After 20 years of baseball, it's over. Reece also moved out last weekend. He's almost 24 and I know this is how it's supposed to be but man it went by so fast!

As he cleared out the last of his things from his room I made sure to put a smile on my face and happy tone to my voice. I didn't want him to remember this exciting time with me crying in the hallway as he loaded up his car with his pillows, blankets, and random items he was bringing with him. 

He's just moving fifteen minutes away but it feels like hours. He hugged and kissed me one more time before getting in his car and driving to his new place. I just smiled and told him I loved him and how proud I was of him. And I told him that no matter what happens in his life, this is always his home and he can come back at any time. 

Later that evening I put fresh sheets on the bed in our now guest room and vacuumed so it would be ready for who ever comes to stay. Then I cleaned his bathroom too so it would also be ready. 

But what I wasn't ready for was the missing toothbrush in the holder. The missing shampoo bottle, shaving cream and beard wash from the shower. The missing basket with his name on it in the cabinet so he and his brother would know what items were theirs. And all of the other little things that are no longer in the house.

It was all just to much and I cried. I cried because if I could do it all over again, I absolutely would. I cried because he's off living his best life and I'm just so extremely proud of him. I've loved having a front row seat to his life and all of the adventures we have been on.

They say the days are long but the years are short. They aren't wrong. I was lucky to have him home those extra six years. But man what I wouldn't do to have another 24 years of him being home. 

Go be bold and courageous, Reece. Dad and I love you!

Health Journey

 

November 2022 I set out on a journey to be healthier. I was facing some health issues and needed to make changes. 

I started exercising on a daily basis and making better food choices. I set short term goals to keep me on track and one long term goal for the year. My long term goal was to lose 52 pounds for the year. 

Since making those changes I’ve lost 54 pounds and the health issues are no longer a problem. 

I've set new goals for 2024. The hard work has been worth it and I’m so proud of myself for sticking with it. 

 October 2022

 

 

 

October 2023 

Worthy

I don’t think my boys read my blog and I think Hubs does from time to time. But I just need to put this all out into the void of the internet in the hope it helps ease my mind and heart.

So, a lot of things changed in my household over the summer. Reece was gone more than normal with baseball and Riley took a job for the entire summer at the camp where our church youth attends for one week each summer. Mind you this camp is in another state. But the big change was they both ended up with girlfriends this summer. Neither one had ever dated seriously, and I was excited they both found someone who they wanted to spend time with. Hubs and I have met both girls and we really like them. Reece and his girlfriend are still going strong at almost four months but recently Riley and his girlfriend, MW, broke up.

And here is where it gets tricky, at least for me, as this entire situation has woven itself into my life and will not let go. God has shown up in MW’s life in a real and tangible way. Her story is not mine to tell but our stories do have a small similarity, and it is one that pulls at my heart not only has a mom but as a girl. She has such a deep faith and personal relationship with the Lord. The kind of relationship I have prayed for over the years for any woman that would come into my children’s lives.

This week I have never wanted to run to another state and wrap my arms around someone so fast as I have this week. I remember the pain of a broken heart as a teenager and a young twenty something girl. It hurts me to know she is experiencing this and there is nothing I can do to fix it. As moms we just want to fix it when our children are hurting.

I have reached out to her and let her know that I am praying for her. I have asked God for specific details for her that I hope he hears and provides. I have prayed for Riley and her so many times this past week that I am certain God is tired of hearing their names fall from my lips. But I also know that in times of trails or struggle the Lord draws you closer to him and this time is no different. I can feel him working not only in their lives but mine as well.

Riley is my son and while I am being supportive of him, I also want to be supportive of MW. One thing that has played out in my mind over and over is that maybe my son is not worthy of her. Maybe God put it on his heart to break up with her so she can find and move forward to the one that he has created for her. The one that will cherish her, love her, provide for her, guide her, and simply just be her person. The one that HE has created just for her and for him. As painful as it is for her and for my mama heart to acknowledge, maybe this is why.

This is all new territory to Hubs and me as well. We have gotten attached to MW in such a short amount of time it will be hard for us to let her go. I know affairs of the heart get easier as time moves on, but this break up has affected me too. I only wanted to be one more person for her to do life with. To do all the things that parents do for their children. I hope that in the years to come I can still be some small part of her life, even if all I do is pray for her.

I am trusting God and his plan and his timing in this situation. I know God’s timing is always perfect. I have witnessed it firsthand. I believe with everything in me that He has someone who is completely and utterly worthy of her. And when she meets that someone, I hope they know how wonderful she truly is and how worthy they are of her.  

It's To Hot For Birthday Candles

Well here we are, almost to the middle of August. Apparently Texas is experiencing a heat wave. This is nothing new as it is always hot in Texas during the month of August. 

However, right now it feels as if Texas is standing on the face of the sun for an extended period of time. Today it is 103 with a heat index of 112. See standing on the face of the sun. 

I also did not get on here to talk about the heat what I did get on here to talk about is Hubs. He had a birthday on Monday. 

We didn't get to celebrate that night so we celebrated on Tuesday. I made one of his favorite desserts, Eclair cake. However there will be no candles, because of the dry weather conditions and the fire hazard said candles might cause.

Happy Birthday Hubs, I love you!

 

 

Maybe I'll Start Blogging Again

I started this blog back in April 2008 as a creative outlet and a way to document my boys growing up. 

It was a perfect time to get into blogging. The blog world was just exploding and there were communities every where for just about anything that interested you. I met people that I still keep in touch with today. 

It was a wonderful outlet, until it wasn't. Over the years it has felt like the blog community has fallen of the map. It did not help that in January 2012 I decided to complete my bachelors degree. I still had household to run and I needed keep everyone fed so something had to give. And so blogging became nonexistent. I pretty much stopped posting here unless it was a major milestone and I wanted to remember every detail. 

Well here I am fifteen years later. The boys have now both graduated from high school. One of them has graduated from college and is almost finished with his masters degree. The other one upon graduation from high school took a job in Oklahoma for the summer and won't return to Texas until mid August which just happens to be right before he starts college.  

I also completed my bachelors degree and life just seemed to move right along. 

But upon graduating I started to think about this blog here and all that it meant me over the years. I have numerous times looked back at posts and the pictures that were included. Sometimes I smiled and sometimes I laughed. I cried at some and even shuddered at a few too. But all in all, the memories made me thankful I had a spot to write them down.

It also got me thinking about how I enjoyed writing about the adventure of our life. I realized I missed it to some extent.  The boys are much older and no longer require my constant attention. The school books, discussion boards, and exams also no longer need my focus. Hubs and I have entered into the new phase of what I call sort of empty nesting. The boys are still around but they also have their own lives.

So who knows, maybe I'll start writing here again.  

So I Did A Thing

So I did a thing on May 12. Well actually I did a thing on March 7 but the ceremony was May 12. 

I graduated from college. Lamar University Class of 2023!

It's been something that I have been pursuing for a while. I have always thought about going back to college to finish my bachelor’s degree. I started college like the rest of my friends when I graduated high school, but life happened, and I stopped going for one reason or another. 

In December 2011 when my husband graduated with his master’s degree, I made the decision to go back to school. So, January 2012 I started the pursuit to finish my college degree. One of the perks of working where I do is that they pay for employees to take classes, but they limit how many they pay for. When I started it was only two classes a year, one in each long semester. I had a grant for a while which allowed me to take three classes a semester but that was only for a short time so back to one class a semester when the grant ended. 

I was determined to finish and only stopped for one semester in 2017 when Hurricane Harvey hit, and I had way too much on my plate to even think about school. But it was during that time, my place of employment changed their policy for employees to take classes, it went from 2 a year to 5 a year, two in the fall and spring and one in the summer. It was that change that made me even more determined to finish this degree. 

The road hasn’t always been easy. There were many late nights studying and writing papers. Missed weekends hanging out with friends, taking trips or summer vacations. Classes that frustrated me and classes that challenged me. Classes that I needed tutoring help from my husband just to get through it and classes that I just seemed to breeze through. 

Fast forward to current day, eleven years later and I finally graduated. It all seems so surreal to me. This day always seemed so far away, and yet here I am.

I graduated on March 7, 2023 with a bachelor’s degree in Applied Arts and Sciences, and a minor in Communications. I also graduated with Summa cum laude Latin honors. I did it all while working full time, raising a family, keeping up a household, and watching my boys participate in whatever sports they were involved in. 

This journey taught me to believe in myself and to never give up, no matter what life throws at you. It also reminded me that I like to learn. I'm so proud of myself for not giving up! 

 

I did it!

 

My sweet friend, who is a professor on campus was waiting to give me a big hug.
 

Reece had baseball and could not come to actual ceremony but it didn't stop me from going to the field to get a family picture.

My four best friends and my cousin. Sonya, Wendi, Beth, Misty. Lisa, my cousin wearing the solid green dress flew in from New York just to watch me walk across the stage.